She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
