Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
