i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
