Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize