Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
