READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
