Non-Jews are for practice
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
