Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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