I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
