White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
