all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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