physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
