im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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