I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
