she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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