Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
