I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Send help, water and tortillas.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
