What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My bed smells like the plague
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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