i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
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