your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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