kristin has been a bad kristin
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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