she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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