I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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