Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
