he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize