he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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