never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
