had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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