She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
