I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
