Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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