Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
