sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Oh god it's open bar.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize