it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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