Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Randomize
