my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
