But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
