go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
did i just pee glitter
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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