so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
