Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
