hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
