her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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