theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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