like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
