I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
