i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
