apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize