She's JV to your varsity
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
