How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
birth control should be required to get into college
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
