he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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