and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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