Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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