the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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