my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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