STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize