You can't motorboat a personality
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
