Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
