P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
