I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
