I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
