Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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