apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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