totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
