Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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