NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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